Building your values and core values
Building your values and core values are likened to building a house on a sustainable foundation. When environmental elements hit against you, your boundaries are challenged and your desire to "help" someone from an empty cup clouds your judgment. You have a resource within to guide you to what is best for you. This is not do-able without practice.
What is the difference between values and core values? Values in a nutshell are beliefs. The beliefs you have regarding God and yourself, your environment, and how you see the world. Beliefs that cannot be shaken or compromised are your non-negotiables! Core values have conviction attached to it. You place a high value on your core values and that is evidenced by how you live it day by day.
Core values are beliefs that cannot be shaken or compromised, they are non-negotiables!
When we talk about value, it is the amount of worth ascribed to something. If you had a one hundred dollar bill and dragged it in the mud, tore it a little, stomped on it, even drove your car over it; would the value change? Would the value change to the value of a twenty-dollar bill? A five-dollar bill? No, it remains a one hundred dollar bill! Core Values hold this same weight in a person's life. However, a tangible example of values is an individual who doesn't smoke and doesn't like smoking in any form or fashion; but if they become initmate with someone who smokes they are willing to compromise that value by moving forward into a deeper relationship. Make sense?
VALUES & THE EMOTIONAL CONNECTION
Let's say one of your core values is trustworthiness. Think about the last person who betrayed your trust. What emotions resurfaced? Whether it’s the emotion of anger and or the feeling of sadness this core value will signal you if something does not feel safe regarding trustworthiness. Is there someone in your life right now has you wondering if you should trust them? The weight of the value you see in yourself will partner with the core value of trustworthiness to answer that question. Your values and core values if you listen will let you know if a red flag is before you. Listen to it!
Now, let's get to building your core values.
Tip #1 - Think of or write down all your values you can identify.
Hopefully, this tip gets your curiosity going. I will link a PDF I created called
"The ABCs of Core Values". Use it to find values that connect with you. This may be a new concept to you but keep going.
Tip #2 - Think about the different areas of your life such as social, family, relationships, creativity, occupational, financial, Academia.
Write each area down using numbers, bullets, or in paragraph form whichever gets your processing flowing.
Tip #3 - Write down your values next to the areas represented.
Are you starting to see where values/core values fit in your life? Write down your thoughts about that.
Tip #4 - You might see that you have the same values in more than one life area.
The values that are repetitive have the potential to be core values. How do you find that out? Check-in with the emotions and physical needs that are coming up for you.
Tip #5 - Have you identified non-negotiables yet?
Or have you identified values that are significant but not provoking you to place high worth on? On a sheet of paper draw a line down the middle and write core values ( non-negotiables) at the top left and values (willing to compromise) on the top right. Fill each column with the appropriate value as you see fit.
Final Tip #6 - Time to check in!
Be honest with your results. What do you see? Did emotions come up? Did scenarios pop in your head to help guide you to the suitable placement of your core values or values? What did you learn about yourself doing this activity?
I hope this was eye-opening and will continue to spark your curiosity to get to know who you are on your journey.